And Their Off!
by electric base black dragon
Summary: Oh my, it seems that every thing is now going topsiy turvey in the world of jak and daxter. not a sucked into the game fic. sort of a litteral 3rd person thingy. yah.. ratted for languag
1. Default Chapter

Oh my

I've gone insane!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Ah well

What else is new?

Any who

We now find Jak and Daxter (who else) in possibly the most idiotic circumstances imaginable

Readers please be prepared that this is utter stupidity and nonsense

Somewhere between Edward gory and Monty python

Before I get this on,

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NEALRY NOTHING! I have some lint but that's it

Two guys in blue armor pushed a blond haired kid out of a zoomer with SOPHIA written on it

Unfortunately the zoomer was still in the air and the kid fell into empty space

Jak poked his head around and looked out

"Boy I'm glad that wasn't me!"

One of the guards gave him a funny look

"What!" said Jak, who suddenly realized his shirt was on fire

"WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Jak started flailing around and he started running in little circles around the guards who got really pissed off at his and jabbed him with a cattle prod and pushed him off the zoomer into the wasteland

This made count Vulgar ( VEGER, YOU ASSHOLE!) ahem, VEGER most upset because he had been looking forward to banishing someone

"Damn straight you pink haired piece of h!7!"

Shouted vegan, obviously upset at the author

The author, who's hair is really light purple, decided at this time to have a large jelly fish hit count vulture in the face

"its VEGER YOU DAUGHTER OF A WAHHHHH! HOLY #& THE PAIN!"

He annunciated as the flying invertebrate hit him in the eyes

The author, more formally known Hana, was floating in the air above the scene and took this new opportunity to throw Daxter and Pecker out of the zoomer

Sadly, Jak had just managed to sit up right when he was by small fuzzy mammals

(Or what ever pecker is)

After exchanging a few curse words with each other and the author, our heros, ( as they requested to be called) promptly started off into the middle of no where

Only a few seconds off on their aimless journey, Jak was misfortunate enough to walk into a cactus

Oh shit

Wait Jak

I DIDN'T MEAN IT!

CRAAAAAAAPPP!

Jak fired off the last of the rocks he had been holding at that annoying thing floating in the sky

He saw it fall and he could see the small cloud of sand it stirred up as it fell

"Great! Now what'd we do?"

Daxter complained

"Ah what a team we'll-ARKK!"

Pecker had started to say something annoying but Jak had grabbed him around the neck before pecker could get his words out

"this bird is so frekin' annoying!" yelled Jak, who suddenly realized that his shirt was STILL on fire

Jak started running around in little circles again and soon collapsed from heat exasHtion

Daxter then followed and pecker remained clasped in jaks fist

'''''''''''

Hana who now could no longer see the subjects of her story, dusted off her large wings and flew off in the direction she assumed Jak had gone

UN- fortunately, I, Hana, didn't realize that I had flown OVER Jak and some how dropped my only beckon some where around there

To this day I still don't know what happened to it

''''''''''''

Now let me know

is this pointless or what?

Too stupid?

Like it?

Hate it?

Should I publish the rest, when I meet kleiver and damas and, er, UNPLESANT things happen?

Let me know!

REVIEW PLEASE!


	2. nutin'

I don't know if any one even likes this story cause I haven't gotten any reviews

Please review!please…

Here we go:

(by the way, ZITTO means 'shut up' in Italian. You'll see that in here)

a few people were currently out for a LOVELY walk in the desert. Even though the were all men they were wearing skirts and looked like total freaks cause they had weird hair and weird eyes and one of them had diaper on

suddenly a large something feel on top of the guy with purple eyes

"what the fuck!" said the guy with purple eyes, also known as damas, as he detangled him self form the rather dazed author

"hopptiy hooptiy frizzy whathcy miny heady! Scrunchy bonbon tutu ZITTO!"

Shouted a frazzled Hannah who could now only speak in gibberish that will have to be subtitled from now on

"higgys glorgy mononny vigggit nono monkey SHIZAT!

who the fuck are you you yo yo sucking blupper run swim swam!

damas didn't know how to react

"huggzisy hoachy ocean 11 money money MONEY !

flirt with hares adrress apprentice Kevin obsessed!

damas was sick of this stupid talk so he hit the hapless author on the skull and hoisted her onto her shoulders

"we'll take it with us- ah!"

damas tripped over a passed out Jak

"howzit!"

Hannah woke up just to see three things happen:

kleivers diaper fall down

kelveir turn around and bend over to pick it up

and the wind blow

"hosy momma ……."

Mumbled Hannah, passing out again

Klevier stood up

"What!"

he said in response to Damos disgusted looks as he bent over Jak

damas picked up Jak and threw him to another one of the wastlanders than proceeded to pick up Daxter and pecker

"we'll take them ALL with us"

Hannah woke up some time later floating in water

"oh fizack"

was all she could say

suddenly klevier walked in and farted and every one died

the end

no not really

"holly shit!"

said Hannah, seeing Jak floating by face down in the water

she rushed over, a very concerned look on her face

yeah switching to first person for a while,

I waded over as fast as I could

"this poor creature is still alive! I MUST PUT IT OUT OF ITS MISERY!"

I then proceeded to try to hold jaks head under water and I would have suceded if Jak didn't suddenly wake up and start beating the crap and

Kjsdfkjbgrekljfgljkhgiudgvrthnbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

Then Jak, the amazing hero, used his spectacular super powers to go out and destroy all thoses who may in some stance find this idiodic storrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Hmmm …..

Sorry to all readers, if there are any,

It seems that Jak and I had a slight disagreement on how this story was going,

kicks Jak

so now that he is properly restrained we shall, oh what the hell did he do to my story?

Fine. You want super powers? HERE YA GO!

I now zapped Jak and turned him into…………..

AN ELF!

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wait….

looks at Jak

crap

damas chose this LOVELY opportunity to walk right about now but died and had to be brought back to life because kleaiver farted

ew

"um, shouln't we help him?" said Jak, GESTURING to his f- ah , DAMAS

"nonononono he's fine. Besides, its not like hes your long lost parent or anything "

I said, banging Jak on the shoulder

Jak, being too slow to catch that, looked blankly at his submerged shoes

Damas suddenly came back to life and saw me

This cant be good

"TRAITOR! No one can have hair that long!"

he yelled, grabbing a handful of my butt long hair

"AHHHH! SEXUAL HARSSASMENT! HELP!"

"damas, QUICK! PUT THIS ANTI-AUTHOR COLLAR ON HER!"

me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"TOO BAD EVIL DOER!"

screamed a random blood soaked puppet

every one suddenly stopped momentarily and worshiped the puppet

(my thanks!)

I , being me myself and I, tried to make a brake for it but I ran into Jak and knocked myself out because I'm short and I banged my head on that stupid metal ring he has on his chest

And then I woke up here

Review or or that crazy kanga rat will sneak up and start typing again!

Eep…


End file.
